LIFE IN THE CHATROOMS OF WWW (and the way people behave)

I`VE SPENT SOME TIME NOW ON ONE OF THE INTERNETS MOST POPULAR CHAT SITE. iTS TAKEN TIME BUT OVER THE PERIOD OF USING THE CHAT SITE IVE ESTABLISHED A GOOD SET OF FRIENDS AND ALSO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN THE 40`S ROOM. THROUGHOUT MY TIME IN THE CHAT ROOM IVE ALWAYS BEEN TOTALLY OPEN ABOUT MY DIAGNOSIS OF BEING PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC AS MUCH AS I AM ABOUT MOST OTHER THINGS ABOUT MYSELF. UNLIKE A MAJORITY OF PEOPLE I FEEL NO NEED TO LIE TO PEOPLE IN ANY WAY, WHATS THE POINT?. JUST CREATES PROBLEMS FURTHER DOWN THE LINE. WHAT IVE NOTICED THOUGH IS THROUGH BEING SO OPEN ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH AND THE RELAXED ATTITUDE I TEND TO PORTRAY ON THE SUBJECT IT SEEMS TO HAVE UPSET ONE OR TWO PEOPLE. YOU SEE, IM THE KIND OF PERSON THAT EASILY FORGIVES AND FORGETS, AND AM APOLOGETIC IF I EVER FU CK UP. EVEN IF IT MEANS I HAVE TO DO IT IN FRONT OF A LOAD OF OTHER PEOPLE..I ALWAYS THINK THAT A LITTLE HUMILITY DOES NO HARM TO A PERSON ,BUT MORESO KEEPS ONE S FEET ON THE GROUND AND THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE. BUT MY OPENESS IN REGARD TO HEALTH AND OTHER ISSUES HAS LIKE I SAID MADE ONE OR TWO ENEMIES. ONE BEING THAT OF A YOUNGER FEMALE CHATTER IN HER 30`S WHO I REALLY SENSE IS INTIMIDATED BY ME IN SOME WAY. AND DOESNT QUITE KNOW HOW TO TAKE ME AS A PERSON. MY BEING OPEN AND ON ONE OCCASION I UPSET HER TO WHERE SHE FLEW OFF THE HANDLE COMPLETELY OVER A SMALL SIMPLE MISTAKE ON MY BEHALF AND TURNED IT INTO A MAJOR ORDEAL. I KNOW THAT HUMANS DONT ALL GET ALONG, PPL NATURALLY HAVE MOMENTS AND THOSE THEY CANT HELP BUT DISLIKE AND I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THEM ALSO..BUT WITH ME BEING MYSELF HER DISLIKE TOWARD ME HAS TURNED INTO HATRED ALMOST. AND THE OTHER DAY I WENT OUT OF MY WAY TO FULLY APOLOGISE ABOUT THE ISSUE WHERE ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE ON HER SIDE, AND I DID NOTHING BUT SAY SORRY AND NO HARM OR MALICE WAS MEANT ETC.. THE DAY I DID APOLOGISE AGAIN AND ASKING IF WE COULD START OVER..MADE HER REACT IN A PECULIAR WAY. SHE HAS NOW PUT ME ON PERMENANT IGNORE BECAUSE I WENT OUT OF MY WAY INFRONT OF EVERYONE TO YET AGAIN APOLOGISE AND HOPE WE CUD START AGAIN .. ALONG WITH HER KNOWING MY MENTAL ILLNESS AS WELL AS OTHER PARTS OF MY LIFE ..JUST LED HER TO BLOCK ME ON THE CHAT SITE? FIRSTLY I WAS PISSED OFF ABOUT IT BUT NOW DAYS HAVE PASSED I WONDER WHAT MAKES HER REACT LIKE THAT? FIRSTLY I FEEL EMPATHY FOR HER FOR THE FACT SHE HOLDS GRUDGES, AND KEEPS BITTERNESS INSIDE HER,WHICH TO ME JUST MAKE PEOPLE LOOK OLDER THAN THEY ARE AS BITTERNESS LEAVES ITS MARK UPON THE FACE OF THOSE WHO HOLD IT IN.. SECONDLY HER INABILITY TO BE ABLE TO ACCEPT AN OPEN AND PUBLIC APOLOGY.. AND THIRDLY THE ONLY WAY SHE FELT ABLE TO DEAL WITH THE WHOLE MATTER WAS TO BLOCK ME...BUT NOW SHES STARTED TO GO INTO THE ROOM NEARLY ALL THE TIME.. SHE CANT SEE ME BUT IF SOMEONE SAYS TO ME SHE WILL SEE MY NAME IN THE ROOM..ITS LIKE SHES TRYING TO BULLY ME OUT OF THE ROOM.. AND TRYING TO BE MISS POPULAR, WEN IN FACT SHE IS THE ONE AND ONLY ICE QUEEN I HAVE TO SAY BUT AS I LOOK AT IT ALL FROM AFAR..ITS SAD IN A WAY THAT A PERSON RATHER BEHAVE NEGATIVELY IN LIFE AND HOLD BAD FEELING LIVE OFF IT AND DISH IT OUT,, WHEN WE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR WAT WE HAVE WHO WE HAVE AND HOW WE ARE AS PEOPLE OF SOCIETY. IF SOMEONE WISHES TO SPEND THEIR LIFE IN A VIRTUAL REALITY RATHER THAN LIVE LIFE IN THE REAL WORLD ITS ,,YES,,SAD SO TO KNOW THAT IVE DRAMATICALLY AFFECTED SOMEONE BY BEING OPEN HONEST DOWN TO EARTH ME ,,WITH NOTHING NASTY HORRIBLE OR MALICIOUS INVOLVED IS QUITE A SHOCK TO THE SYSTEM AND I WONDER OH DO I WONDER WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING THROUGH THAT PERSONS MIND.. GUESS ITS THEIR MIND SO MY JUST BEING NOSEY WANTING TO KNOW LIFE IN CHAT IS UNHEALTHY AFTER A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME, SO I TEND TO KEEP MY VISITS IN SHORT BURSTS SO AS I DONT GET CONTAMINATED WITH THE VIRTUAL VIRUS QUE SERA SERA EH?

note to annie lennox on facebook I am in the process of becoming an educator with `Time to Change` in hopefully educating ppl within society about Mental Health. Seems Ruby Wax is in on promoting positively Mental Health with depression OCD and Bi-Polar ...but no one seems to be saying anything on schizophrenia and paranoid schizophrenic.. i have offered myself to promote mental health via the media.. I have to tell you that your song " I`ve tried Everything" is one i would love to do a cover of as it describes how alot of ppl in my situation and with such an illness as paranoid schizophrenia have to live with on a daily basis and the prejudice and ignorance there is toward the illness and believe it or not stigma is most rife within the MH system.. my mind screams out at those who judge belittle and take the piss out of..but my smile remains in tact.. good on you for speaking out about the GFWNS Gain Fame With No Shame Quick.. i always said i wanted to go on x factor and sing my audition, im brave enough to think i wud get 4 yes`s AND THEN I would say, " well thnx for all saying yes,but i dont need to go further i just needed to show you what its about ..and im not interested,, i sing in clubs and so forth.. i sing for the passion of it, a get fame quick fix is NOT a style that says anything about me,, with ur slick make up and ur dance routines, ur coaches that agree to take part in helping those afflicted with the thumbs up so sing now world.. its about hours of paper and pen making love and creating words to move souls.. its about sounds coming together and teasing those words into a passion of poetry in motion .. raw talent in smokey run down clubs sitting there selling ur soul to those who dare to listen to the personal voice of an individual.. not my name in stars, fireworks and big band music.. im a singer songwriter that will sing in the park on the bus walkin my dog.. and at least My Dreams are that of self uniqueness ..my words are from MY heart, i ripped them out to put on paper not to sing a song everyone already knows.... oh BUT YES i did admit i wished to do a cover of "Ive tried Everything" .. maybe one day eh? tc miss lennox peace and love to u..tc leona x

life issues? ok take early hours this morning in a chatroom.. i get a Private Message from someone in the room...and it changes my whole day,evenin night, early hours..to this: I posted this on facebook earlier: My thoughts lay today with a man called Danny. I met him late last night in a chatroom, and he PM`d me and confessed he had taken an overdose nearly 12 hrs before. I spent an hour online listening to his story and it brought me to tears, believe me, if anyone today thinks their life sucks ..its not so bad as danny`s is at the moment. Im not going to reveal in detail in any of the trauma he has had to deal with the last few yrs, but i eventually got him to phone me and we talked on the phone, and he promised to me he would ring the NHS helpline and take advice from them.I know he needed to get checked out in A&E but he cudnt there and then so i said if they suggest call out the Dr on call to come see him and go from there.. as just a human i did what i could to get him to open up, and as someone who cared ..i sat and listened to his story. I hope he is ok right now, and that the promise he would call me tonight to tell me he is ok. What he took wasnt overly dangerous but then ppl react in different ways .. god bless you Danny.. be safe be strong and know ur loved.